It's been 2 years oh my!

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted anything until my post early early this morning. Two years has passed. I do have an excuse..... My computer completely stopped working. My icons to get on to the internet had disappeared.  After that happened I was left using my phone as my computer and you know that isn't really the b est way to blog.

In the last 2 years I have turned 40 O.M.G.!! I am getting so old and some days I really feel it.  I'm still single, it has been almost 10 years since I have been in a serious relationship.. Even though I think it sucks to be single sometimes , it has been the best thing in the world for me. I am so glad I'm not one of those people who has  to be in relationship to feel complete. I have realized that I'm not perfect and I am at fault at time.. which I kinda knew I wasn't perfect in my past relationships I know I have made so many mistakes, it has just took me this long to be able to admit my wrong doings.

I think every year I have learned more and more about myself and what I am about I have also learned how to keep my mouth shut when I am suppose to.. Yes, I haven't always held up to that in some circumstances, but for the most part I have made leaps and bounds.  I had someone say to me you know everyone sees what you post on facebook.. referring to me going to a diner to have coffee late at night.. I didn't say anything because I didn't do anything wrong I wasn't out drinking or party.  I wasn't doing anything I wasn't suppose to be doing. My kids where with me or being very well taken care of. I think I have the right to sit in a coffee shop having coffee and perhaps some food.  I was proud of myself for not arguing back and stating my case because it wasn't their business.  For that I gave myself a big pat on the back.


Since I have posted anything here so much has happened.  The most devastating thing I ever had to encounter was my daughter who is now 19 moving out.  It hurt so bad at 1st I felt rejected and as if I did something wrong to make her want to leave ME.  I know she is 19 but she is still in school and I never thought she would leave until she was done. I felt angry and I know I took it out on her and she was mad at me for a minute.  She moved in with her dad and I wasn't being nice to him either. Her dad and I talked and I felt much better. I don't talk to her as much as I like.  Sometimes when I call she isn't in the mood to talk and someday s I can't get her off the phone which is great.

I have also found a job.. It's not the job I want but the one I need.  I can't or try not to complain because I am truly grateful to have a job after going so long without one.  I  go do my job and come home. I don't go to work looking for friends.. which is fine.. some of the women I work with love talking negative about other people who work there and I really don't have tiome for that.


I guess I am happy.. I mean life could be worse and miserable I can only make things better no one else can do it for me.. I make my own happy. I am learning how.. I am ready to find someone now I know what I am looking for now.. My only problem is I am not good at approaching anyone I am interested in and I never go out.. so this will be an interesting journey for the next part of my life. Stay tuned if you follow me.

Family love

I am kinda lucky to have grown up in  a pretty close nit family, I know many people aren't that lucky.  Some families move away and lose touch with one another. I do have some family I don't get to see as often as I would like to.. but be still remain pretty close.  I was luck to have all 4 grandparents around me while growing up they all loved each and everyone of us the same.. none of us where love more than the other. It's  sad they have all passed on. I miss them more and more everyday.

I really wished my kids had the same as I did,   But sometimes that isn't something you can control. As long as they both know I love them unconditionally that is all that matters.