Love your self

I was talking to a friend t work last week about being single/divorced.  She said she had been divorce for 3 years and I had been divorced about 13 or more years and I have been single 10 years.  She said she was much happier being a single mom and the thought of dating wasn't an option.  I agreed I am much happier than I realized.

I can remember many times wishing I would find someone to love and not being alone.  I have dated, but it never went anywhere,  I  wondered what is wrong with me where nothing ever seems to work out beyond a date or two.  The one thing I have quickly realized that I didn't love myself.  I  never thought I was ever good enough for the men I was interested in. Their was so much self loathing.  Everything in my life was going to pieces.  I had gotten sick for awhile and had to have surgery and found out I was diabetic so that made me feel look I have failed myself . I had gained so much weigh I got to around to 320 lbs.

Being 320 lbs was a huge wake up call.  I started losing weight because I had gotten sick.. I realized that I have to treat myself much better. I started eating better and working out at the gym. That really made me feel so much better.  I started to actually like who I am.  Me being happy also made start to actually love myself.. I know I'm not perfect and no one is.  I have flaws I don't like it just keeps me moving in the right direction.

I have finally found a job and it feels good to be making money again.  I feel like I can provide better for my kids even the one who don't live with me.  I am at the point that I feel that I am ready to find someone in my life. I feel good about who I am and not worried if I am good enough.  I am still fine if I am not with someone unlike before.  I have finally found the key to my happiness. If you don't love yourself how can you love someone else or maintain a relationship.