Random 6 Parents

One thing mom really hates talking about is the fact she was married quite quite young, it was kinda  a circumstantial thing and I will leave it at that.   My mom and dad where married about 7 years.  They 1st had my sister Eve and them me.  ( I am trying to think of a way to make this kinda short)
They divorced when I was 3 years old.  Mom was basically a single mom with the help of my grandfather, which I called PawPaw. By the way he was one of the best male figures I ever had in my life.. Not saying my dads father was bad or anything.  My Paw Paw was the greatest for helping my mom with raising us.

My dad stayed here in Georgia for a little while probable less than 3 months. I thing financially he gave my mom around $300 child support.  He had move back up to Tennessee where he was from and only took jobs that payed him under the table.. so he didn't have to pay.  My mom struggled raising us it was horrible now knowing how much she struggled.. But the great thing about her is she never let on how poor we where.  I actually didn't know I was poor. I do remember wearing shoes to school and they would come apart and the elementary school I went to had this one room filled with donated clothes and shoes and the teacher giving me a new pair.. but back then I never thought much of it.

I remember when I was young up until early high school  I worshiped my dad.  It took me that long to just realize that he was no a great father.  When my parents 1st split, he would get my sister and I a lot. But as the years went on it was less and less.. It it wasn't for his parents my Grandpa and Grandma I would never have seen them or any of my other family.  My Grandfather was a truck driver and he would pick my sister and I up and we would go on the road with them for days sometimes weeks,  I am so grateful for that.

The crazy thing is I don't remember a lot of my childhood before age 3 or too many years after 3.. I remember a lot of thing at around 3.. I guess because that was when my parents divorced. I remember them being married, camping and helping my dad with his camping bus.. or watching. I remember the fighting and the break up, which kinda was traumatizing.  I don't remember details only the sounds of fighting.

You know I am better off without him in my life.. I see him occasionally at family functions with my step monster.  But I don't go out of my way to call him like my sister does. Eve does it because she don't like people being mad at her.. me who cares why show love to someone who doesn't deserve it.  I have had the same number forever and he can't find the time to call, It's sad neither of my kids know him and I have given him plenty opportunities to be in their lives.   I am happy and there isn't any drama in my life as long as he isn't around. I do love him, but I don't have to like him.

OK just a little about my dad aka(sperm donor)  or as my sister use to call him when she was on the same page as me. I can't say what the future hold but right now it's very bleak.

Until next time.. Good Night Good day..<3 p="">

Random 5 Crowds

I have been trying to figure out things for me to do to become more sociable.  I am not really in to bars and clubs never really had tons of fun when I went, I think it's a crowd thing I just can't be surrounded by too may people for a long period of time.. I get hot, nervous, paranoid and can't breath,

I work a lot or weird hours so it's not easy to just go out on the weekend.  I want to start getting out and doing stuff.  I have noticed since I am working I don't feel as depressed   i use to.  But I don't have a social life.. I do have friends, but most are married, in a relationship or they life too far away.  I have to start living. It has been so many years since I have felt like I have been living life.  The one thing I need to do is start getting out when someone asked hey do you wanna go so and so with me, I need to do.  It's hard when mom will asked me at midnight let's go get cake and coffee when I have to be up at 10 or earlier to go to work.

I have had people say join a dating sight...umm no!! I don't have to find a date just to have fun. Yes, I am ready to date but on my terms and how I feel comfortable doing it.  People just don't get how picky I have become since my last relationship. My goal is to at least do something once a week if I feel like it or no.  I might go have lunch with mom and her girls tomorrow that's a start anyways.

I know this lame .. but I keep thinking about things to post from the past funny stories.. which I know I have.  I am just not thinking of any off the top of my head. I am sure I can find something.. because I was a pretty weird kid.

Have a good Day/Night! <3 p="">

Rambling (3) and (4) Random Facts

One fact about me is I really hate text-ting . I mean it's OK to get a quick point across, Sometimes having a longer conversation is horrible. I hate when you post something and someone thinks you are being rude when you only have the best intentions in mind.  It has happened to me a few times.. Then you have to call the person and explain what you mean and you didn't try to sound like a smart butt.
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Since I didn't post last night another fact about me is I never wanted to have children.  I never thought it would happen.  I love children so much I just didn't want my own. It was me thinking practically about the cost, because kids are so expensive.  But oopsies happen and I can't be any happier because I have the most amazing kids in the world.  Anyways after my 1st child was born and I got married my ex and I kinda had a conversation about living as an only child.. He had siblings but didn't grow up with them,  Even though my second child wasn't planed at that moment in time we wanted to have another one someday.

Now I am older every once in awhile I wish I had more.. But then I'm like NAH that's what nieces ans nephews are for. I am able to hangout with them.. but they go home.  The one thing I like about my job is I get to see little kids and babies, I can play with them for a minute or two and they go home.

Sometimes you get what you don't want, but happy that you got it in the long run. That goes for so many other things like jobs or friends to name a couple. I hope everyone had a great weekend.