Ego

My 13 year old daughter has suck a huge Ego!!! She thinks that she is so good playing her Double Bass that she never needs to practice. She never plays it when she brings it home to practice and when I take her to school early I found out today she's isn't practicing shes socializing.  What she don't understand is there is always someone better than you and practice makes you even better.  This is something I came to know yesterday afternoon!

I am glad she is confident but she is beyond confident! This weekend I have to buckle down on her,, she is suppose to practice at least 80 minutes a week. it sounds like a lot , but it really isn't 20 mins a day 4 days a week. I asked her if she wanted to continue with Orchestra, she said she did and I asked if she wanted to continue with GYSO she said she did.  I told her I would continue to take her if she would practice.. I don't want her wasting my time of there's . I hope my talk with her is heard and she starts being more serious and less cocky,

I have had a very good day!

I am actually really happy! I had a really great day. I didn't do anything special same routine as always. Hannah didn't go to school, she was throwing up most of the morning. I was just relaxed more. I love layed back where there is nothing pressing that needs to get done.  I did have a nap. I should have filled out a couple of applications, honestly I didn't think about not once.  We had a great dinner, I did some laundry, I made some jewelry and hung out with my daughters what more could I asked for.?

I have had somethings weighing on my mind, all to do with my sister and how she hurts out feelings about things.. she thinks she is staying out of thing but she just isn't very supportive when my mom or I are going through things with people.  1st of all Eve that's my biological only sister I have that is related by blood to me. Eve and her ex husband and his wife got into it I was really upset and mom was right there to take up for Eve when the ex's wife was acting a fool.   When it comes to us.. and someone is starting issues with us her response is I just don't want to get in the middle of it.  It hurts so bad. When Robin and I got into it and she was running her mouth, Robin decided to pull Eve into it.. All the was concerned about was why Robin is mad at her.. not how I was being treated. Eve even sends Robin a card months later and basically apologizes for something she didn't do.  The latest thing that happened with my step sister Wendy.  Wendy said horrible things to mom and Eve still said I don't wanna be put in the middle I was the only one who took up for mom. I was so pissed. I didn't expect Eve to take up for me, but her mom yes, Mom is way more important than keeping everything straight with Wendy.  I haven't said anything to her. I thought about writing her. I dunno. I know I wanna get this off my chest it is making me go insane.  Eve is hard to talk to. I have always had issues with her and never could stand up to her.. not that I am afraid of her more that she won't ever speak to me and I really love my sister.  I always thought I would be a made of honor at her wedding she has been married twice and I was never asked. The two girls she asked are hardly in her life where I have been there everyday. I dunno why it made me so upset?, but it did. I don't care anymore about that. I am still upset how I felt like she took away my best friend. They would go out I was never asked to go. If her kids wasn't with there dad mom or I was watching them. I am still mad about that . Ok my day was great and I don't want to make it bad by thinking of this stuff anymore. Goodnight it is 2:30 am and I have to be up in 3 hours. Until next time.

Teenage Drama

My 2 daughters have the same friend named Chelsea, she is 16 on of my oldest friends from school, she has grow attached herself to Hannah I think its because they have the same type of personality.  They are both very out going and make friends pretty easy. Every once in awhile Chelsea will spend the night and she tries to spend equal amount of time with the girls. They can't really handout together because my 2 girls  don't get along that often.  They always complain after she left that the other spent more time than the other one.  


This weekend was really horrible they fought almost the whole time over Chelsea. I thought I was gonna lose my mind.  I have never see anything like that.  It really upset Chelsea she felt like she was in the middle. I told the girls that if they didn't stop acting like this they will not let any of there friends come over anymore.. this is so ridiculous. 


Hannah went to church youth tonight after there rehearsals and when I picked her up she was upset apparently while she was there this girl Lauren was whispering loudly so Hannah could hear telling her friend not to like Hannah she'd ugly! I want to say something so bad, but  Hannah would rather just not go there.  I can't stand that kid in the 1st place.. Hannah knew her since pre-k and they where best buddies then. now she just don't like Hannah for no apparent reason!


Ok I am done for no Good night Until Next time.

To Date or Not to Date... ummmmm revised

This girl I grew up with left me a weird message saying "I'm gonna (loud clad) fix you up" My 1st thought was what the hell?  I love her like she is a sister and all but I don't know if I trust her choice of guys. I on't really know much about the type of guy she dates, I think out taste are totally different. Not that its bad I just don't know if she will pick someone I like, She then asked me if I was in love with an ex or looking for a rebound for someone who don't like me the way I liked them.  I told her the truth. I am open to date someone and I am not in love or have feelings for anyone. I dunno what to do. If I should take the chance. It could be the best thing or worse thing I ever did.  I hope she don't come across this and take it the wrong way cause I don't mean it in a bad way , just a bit shocked.

OK the second part of my day I went to Hannah's open house I really didn't wanna go but I did. It was alright!!! It was long I don't like the way it was conducted. We had to go to each class according to Hannah's schedule and had to stay in each class for 10 minutes.  Use to you could go to each class at you own pace. We where there 2 hour. 

Tomorrow is is my sorta busy day. Take my friend to the doctor and Hannah and Chelsea to church.  Thursday is Hannah's birthday she will be 13. Wow my baby is gonna be a teenager soooon. We  are going Thursday to get her 2 ND hole repierced.  And she wants to eat Steak and Shake for her Birthday, but we are doing that will be Saturday.  OK Till Next Time! Good Night!! 

Day 31 Drama Grrrr..

Of course my wrap up 31 day is dramatic!!  My step sister Wendy left my mom a rude comment about her new car.. something to the effect of Why did you get a new car my dad deserves it. That hurt moms feelings.  My dad called Wendy to see what was going on and my dad explained the situation. This morning she called to apologize  Poppy told her to call mom  and tell her.  She left a comment on Facebook saying can't people just take a joke. I asked was that comment to mom she is upset and crying over the situation and that is all I said in the beginning. She just totally went off on me. I was nice but as she kept on I got rude.  I am not ashamed what I said I was being honest while she was letting her true colors show. I don't need her it's not like she has been there.  I had to stop I could have went on and hurt her so bad, but she is not worth my time! 

Wendy deleted me as a friend, I just blocked her so she don't run the risk of her creeping on my page or messaging me or me getting mad again go off on her.. I am not dramatic.. she stoop down to her level. I  said what I said then blocked that is it all and I hope I never have to look at her snobby ass again!!!

Day 30

Hannah starts G.Y.S.O.  Sunday I haven't told her yet!! I think she will be so excited!! I have to remember to pick her up from school tomorrow to get her bass.  I have about all her paper work done I have to get Matt's 2 middle digits to his SS.. I know all of it but that.. I never use it anymore so I have no clue or have I cared.  I am having mom take me the 1st couple times to take Hannah to her practices so, I can figure out how to get there besides I am almost outta gas.

Hannah's Birthday stuff has changed. I think her dads mom is taking her Saturday to get her hair did.  I am taking her sometime after school on her birthday to get her cart ledge pierced.   On the Saturday after her birthday instead of a party she wants to eat at Steak and Shake and invite Chelsea.  I am thinking I will make some cup cakes too.  I gave one more day.. which I haven't really done 31 in a row since my computer still is down and using my child's Laptop. I will do it all over again around Christmas It will starting Dec1 I just hope I remember! Good night and Sweet Dreams!

Day 29

I love to be productive!! I know there arr some mornings I just wanna stay in bed and sleep all day and then I end up hurting because I slept way too long.  I didn't sleep well again I know what is new with me.. I think I finally went to bed at 7am or so and I got up a little after 10 am I had to Take Rick to his dialysis, After I dropped him off I went to my friend Robins. I really didn't wanna go  I was so tired.  I was really glad that I did go. She gave a bunch of clothes that was too small for her and we chatted. The clothes she gave me most where really beautiful, I had to was all them when I got home she smokes in her house and they all smelled strongly of smoke.

I can't complain I got to nap before I took Hannah to Church. Good things come to those who wait. I kinda wish I did nap I would most likely be in bed right now! I also got all Hannah's GYSO stuff filled out. Now I need to find the application, the address to the place and the check sent. I will feel like a huge weight is lifted off my chest


Hannah decided she didn't wanna birthday party.. she wants hair color . ok. I am taking her out to eat. She wants to go to Steak and Shake.. she wants a milk shake that's why.. its fine with me it saves me some money!!!! Good Morning or Evening what ever the case it!

Never Shout Never - Time Travel Lyric Video

Day 28

I am feeling somewhat feeling better!  I finally got ink for my printer, I finally printed out Hannah financial form for G.Y.S.O. Now I have to send a copy of my financials, send $25 for an application fee for that paper and Then I have to write a letter stating why I need help with her being in the program.  I am just happy things are looking up and  moving forward.

So far the 1st day of school has been a success. Hannah has had a little problem with a girl who is suppose to be a friend.. Hannah spent the night with her last weekend and in her bad was a few of her school supplies she didn't mean to take them   with her. Now the little girl is giving her a hard time about getting them back. This child is making something out of nothing.  I am glad Hannah figured out who she is before they really is. But other than that dramatic situation she is happy!!

I went to Walmart Monday night, I picked up a few more school supplies and found Hannah a couple cute shirts. I am a dork I also bought a Dancing with the Stars workout DvD I haven't tried it yet. Kinda excited to see how it is.  I just have to get may keyboard hooked to my computer.. I am gonna use that as a DvD Player.
I need to go to bed I have to get up early I have so much to do tomorrow. I am kinda hoping that Robin has things to do tomorrow. I am just not in the mood.
Good Night and Sweet Dreams!

Day 27

Wow school has officially, Last night was sorta nightmarish.  I slept sooo bad I  had maybe 4 hours or so sleep!!! It started off great both the girls where in bed before 11 pm. I washed 3 loads of clothes and at around midnight or a little later here comes Sarah and an hour later here comes Hannah. They where excited and couldn't sleep. I told them to go to bed but I don't think they went, I slept till about 5 am I woke up to the smell of the hot iron it freaked me out I got up and Sarah was straightening her hair. Then again at 6:30 am Hanna telling me that her sister straightened her her and it looked the best it ever had,, I was annoyed thinking to myself ''Are you Freaking Kidding? Don't they see I am trying to get some sleep''. They came in my room and told me bye when they left for their buses, I finally got 2 more hours of full sleep.

I told Sarah tonight they are taking melatonin tonight if they can't go to sleep.. I think I will have to worry more about them falling asleep to early.. I will be fighting to keep them awake until at least 7pm. I am hoping that today ends up good and not a huge argument where the girls are concern. It time for the job hunt to be on again now I have an early schedule it will be easier to reapply for the jobs.  I am also hellbent on self improvement this your its not a resolution it a gotta do and not turn back.. I have been working on it but its time to work a bit harder.. Wish me luck and give me plenty of encouragment I really need it right no.

Thanks for taking your busy schedules for listening or reading what I have been saying it means a lot. Have an awesome Blessed after noon!

DAY 26

It is sooo hard to believe that the girls start school in less than 30 hours!  This summer went by slow and fast, Its hard to explain what I am saying.  I am happy as well as sad. I will miss seeing them as much as I have been but the peace will be good as well. Today had been a not so wonderful day.. I woke up at 12 felt kinda weird and laid down till close to 3 pm,  I got I felt worse kinda nauseated I hurt from under my breast to my back. I still  fell horrible I hope when I wake up I will feel netter.. I hope so I have so much to do!!

I Hope everyone has a great day and a Good Night!!!  

DAY 25 Fakes

Yes late again and I am being really late and I am so ill about it!! I really need to call the cable company! But the Poppy has been working alot of concerts and lots of other stuff!!


I have been surrounded by fakes all my life! I am so glad that I am who I am! I know I'm not perfect, I make mistakes everyday of my life I say and do things I can't take back sometimes, but that is being human.. its not something I do all the time, I have my moments like everyone else, but that don't make me fake.  I was friends with this girl last year we became very close. One afternoon she was asking me questions about a guy my sister dated back in the day.. I told her he was a great guy, but watch out for some of the people we hang out with they like to say bad stuff about him.. she want to know what I wasn't gonna say anything to her the voice in the back of my head, but me feeling like we where close enough I told her the rumors,, I told her they are rumor its not true, I didn't realize it was really wrong, but what I said was wrong!! The reason is I should have told  the guy about what was said about him because he is a good friend, he knew most already but not all of them... All of a sudden she starts acting weird around me.. Come to find out she is mad at me about what I told her After She Begged me to! I confronted her we had a blow up and wasn't friends gor awhile.. All of a sudden she wanted to be friends. I accepted, but things aren't the same she just seems distant and fake.. I think the only reason she wanted to be friends is because the guy she like was mad at her for the the way she acted.. she also was being mean to my sister and she had nothing to do with any of this. I just don't talk to her that much! When i have hung out with her I never have anything to say to her. I just stopped trying.

I have a family member by marriage who is the same way she seems fake and stuck up. I think she is the only family member that bugs me. I just wanna look at her and say what the hell is your problem,, you are no better than the rest of us, worse but not better, She was been that way since I met her.  I have come across a few people like them in my life time and I try not to let them get to me, but sometimes I DO..  I kow it may sound like I am over reacting I need to just ignore the people when I come across them

Day 24

Having no regular access to a computer really sucks. We haven't had the time to call the cable company, my dad has to be with me when I call. He has to give permission. As of now I am 2 days behind. Somethings can't be helped!

I had a pretty good weekend I watched Fireworks Saturday night and saw a few people I haven't seen in awhile.  Hannah has been at her friends since then, Its been very quite around here.   I have been chatting with Sarah about her future she will be graduating in a couple of years and I want her to start thinking about what she wants to do. I know she really wants to go to The Art Institute of Atlanta, but I told her just in case her art don't go in the direction she wants she need s a fall back,but she says I know nothing but art. I hope she is succeeds in everything she does in life. But art is an iffy thing to get into.. not impossible though, nothing is impossible, I just don't want her to end up like me. I was consumed with art that is what I breathed, loved it was me. Then I ha a teacher who told be to be realistic there is no future in art to I gave up. I didn't draw forever and it has effected how I draw I am not as good as I was or confident. I don't ever want to discourage her in that she is an excellent artist she is 100% better than I ever did.

Hannah will be 13 on the 25th of this month. she changes what she wants to do every week. Right now she wants to be a music teacher.  I think she should do something with match too she is so good with numbers,but I understand that numbers and math is boring. I want these 2 girls to do better than I have. I haven't had luck in the job situation. I am looking I wanna find something I will enjoy doing .

Good Afternoon have a great day and until next time, hopefully sooner or later.

Day23

I am a day late and a dollar short literally.  I shopped yesterday the kids have clothes. I wasn't able to get on the computer at all.  I have to do what I have to do. Tomorrow to night or I guess tonight is Fireworks at the Village Green , I usually watch them at a friends house or Ken's Corner Grill. Thats my weekend. I have no more money to spend, but my gas tank is full and that makes me happy!  Good Night 

Day 22

I am still having the worse anxiety problems, I can't explain it. I also have sleep apnea . I don't have one of those wonderful machines. I have had that for while but it never woke me up or freaked me out like the anxiety. I will be lying down watching TV on my bed and I will relax and start gasping for air I get a little tightness as well. I am so afraid to go to sleep with the fear I won't wake up. I am so afraid right now. I lost 5 lbs but that is clearly not enough. I stay hungery.. I try to get something that isn't bad for me, but every once in awhile i stray. I bought Gummy Bears last night those are my weakness, but I think I have had my fill for a while I thought I was gonna puke. My dad bought cookies and I did good I didn't eat one. I think I will drink hot tea with artificial 0 calorie sweeter.  That kinda helps my sweet tooth.

I am in Georgia about 10 miles northwest of Atlanta, We have had some good aweful hot weather today it was 99F with the heat index of 104 F. That is causing many problems with the breathing I know. I am looking for some sort of relief.  We are expecting rain for the next couple days, That will kinda help. I will be happy for a very cloudy over cast day! I guarantee you one thing if I lose enough weight this year I will get me and the kids a pass to White Water. The money will be so worth it.  I wonder about the winter now.. Not always but most of the time when we have a horrible summer that our winter is gonna be cold. Right now I am excited for the cold weather. I just wish it would get here .

Tomorrow will most likely be a late night. I have Sarah's laptop since she is in trouble, but she will be getting it back tomorrow as long as she stops being such a smart mouth. Good Night Until next time!

Day 21

It's before midnight and I am actually blogging!  School is getting closer and Ia need to shop for school clothes. I was going to today but I didn't feel good. Tomorrow Hannah has church and we are gonna gonna contact that woman about her bracelets from that woman before hand. I didn't go to the track I am about to put some music on and workout for 30 mins. After that Sarah and I are gonna get he  some hair color to was the pink out of her hair. I am hoping to make things a little more interesting but nothing is going on. I will find something soon to talk about that is bugging me or I love!!!10 More days! Till Tomorrow and GoodNight

Day 20

OK. it is getting hard now to blog everyday before midnight hits.. I  messed my internet connection up and I haven't yet called to have it fixed this is the 3rd time its happened ,actually had a power surge. I am having to use Hannah's lap top and by the time she gets in bed cause its summer, it so late or I get busy, So this is another quicky, Still no walking but yes for sure tomorrow I am gonna at attempt. I am keeping my promise to myself si I am doing it for me and my bad health.. I sleep so much better when I go walking it really helped with my breathing My breathing has been so bad for the passed couple nights so, That really helps me see how bad I am needing to keep up with it.  Tomorrow the girls and I are picking up some school clothes so exciting not much because I am sorta broke just enough to get them started.. I am one of those parents that buy school clothes all through the school year. here and there I will pick them up something cute or they will talk me  into stuff. It's not hard for them to talk me into things. Until Then Good Night or Good Morning to you!