It's been 2 years oh my!

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted anything until my post early early this morning. Two years has passed. I do have an excuse..... My computer completely stopped working. My icons to get on to the internet had disappeared.  After that happened I was left using my phone as my computer and you know that isn't really the b est way to blog.

In the last 2 years I have turned 40 O.M.G.!! I am getting so old and some days I really feel it.  I'm still single, it has been almost 10 years since I have been in a serious relationship.. Even though I think it sucks to be single sometimes , it has been the best thing in the world for me. I am so glad I'm not one of those people who has  to be in relationship to feel complete. I have realized that I'm not perfect and I am at fault at time.. which I kinda knew I wasn't perfect in my past relationships I know I have made so many mistakes, it has just took me this long to be able to admit my wrong doings.

I think every year I have learned more and more about myself and what I am about I have also learned how to keep my mouth shut when I am suppose to.. Yes, I haven't always held up to that in some circumstances, but for the most part I have made leaps and bounds.  I had someone say to me you know everyone sees what you post on facebook.. referring to me going to a diner to have coffee late at night.. I didn't say anything because I didn't do anything wrong I wasn't out drinking or party.  I wasn't doing anything I wasn't suppose to be doing. My kids where with me or being very well taken care of. I think I have the right to sit in a coffee shop having coffee and perhaps some food.  I was proud of myself for not arguing back and stating my case because it wasn't their business.  For that I gave myself a big pat on the back.


Since I have posted anything here so much has happened.  The most devastating thing I ever had to encounter was my daughter who is now 19 moving out.  It hurt so bad at 1st I felt rejected and as if I did something wrong to make her want to leave ME.  I know she is 19 but she is still in school and I never thought she would leave until she was done. I felt angry and I know I took it out on her and she was mad at me for a minute.  She moved in with her dad and I wasn't being nice to him either. Her dad and I talked and I felt much better. I don't talk to her as much as I like.  Sometimes when I call she isn't in the mood to talk and someday s I can't get her off the phone which is great.

I have also found a job.. It's not the job I want but the one I need.  I can't or try not to complain because I am truly grateful to have a job after going so long without one.  I  go do my job and come home. I don't go to work looking for friends.. which is fine.. some of the women I work with love talking negative about other people who work there and I really don't have tiome for that.


I guess I am happy.. I mean life could be worse and miserable I can only make things better no one else can do it for me.. I make my own happy. I am learning how.. I am ready to find someone now I know what I am looking for now.. My only problem is I am not good at approaching anyone I am interested in and I never go out.. so this will be an interesting journey for the next part of my life. Stay tuned if you follow me.

Family love

I am kinda lucky to have grown up in  a pretty close nit family, I know many people aren't that lucky.  Some families move away and lose touch with one another. I do have some family I don't get to see as often as I would like to.. but be still remain pretty close.  I was luck to have all 4 grandparents around me while growing up they all loved each and everyone of us the same.. none of us where love more than the other. It's  sad they have all passed on. I miss them more and more everyday.

I really wished my kids had the same as I did,   But sometimes that isn't something you can control. As long as they both know I love them unconditionally that is all that matters.

Going On's

Now school has started back it's time for the busy schedule to start, but I really don't think it will be as bad as it was last year.  I for one don't have to pick my youngest up with her Giant Bass. What I thought was cool is that her High School Orchestra teacher has assigned her a Bass that she can leave at home and she has one to play at school. I still have to carry her to Kennesaw State University for GYSO practice and that means lugging the Bass. This year her teacher has assigned her a bigger one than last year and its harder to fit in my little car.

This similar to what she is playing now!

But on Fridays I have both to pick up for Japanese club instead of 1 kid.  I think is a very good trade off.  This year I plan to be more involved than the following years since I have 2 in the same school it will be much easier. I am looking forward to Football Games, Homecomings and such  if they decide to go, which I think my youngest will. I want this year to be real fun for them both. 

I have finally learned not to let my life totally revolve around my diabetes  I will try any ways. For once its not the first and last thing I think about before I go to sleep that is always good.  I was really having a hard time at first it felt as is if it was running my life and I had no control just a lot of frustrations.  I have feel of the bans wagon lately I have slowly been adding junk to my diet. I was doing so well.  I had lost over 40 lbs in the last year.. Now I am stuck in between gaining 5 lbs then losing it. I haven't been drinking water like I was or working out.  I am making a promise to myself starting September the 1st I am gonna Drink more what and work out 4 to 5 times a week. I know I can do it I have before.. I have a lack of motivation here lately, I am going to find some motivation and get busy. I have stop eating Jalapeno Cheetos which are my number 1 weakness. I still stay away from sugar, but there has been a time or 2 when I had cookies or something along those lines not often much I still should stay away.  

That is all I have going on for the fall. I will post more fun or updates as they come.  I just wanna be happy and to make my family happy and do the best that I can. Good Bye and until next time with all my Love Char!!

School Starts Monday

I am trying to decide if this summer has flown by or not. Kinda , but not really.  For the most part we didn't do anything such as traveling.  My youngest daughter was having really bad headaches, so I made her an appointment, Come to find out he had high blood pressure actually really high. We where sent to the a Cardiologist and Neurologist. The Cardiologist put her on Blood pressure medication on her second visit.  I changed her diet, it was so hard to keep the sodium away from her she is so addicted to snacks with tons of it in it.  She had lost some weight.  We where sent to the Neurologist for the headaches which are migraines., she also had med for that, but its not working that well. I am glad to have gotten all that taken care of.  I made my oldest an appointment as well, the basics , blood work and shots she had to catch up on.  I had to make her a regular appointment to get other things sorted out.


My youngest had a better Summer than the rest of us, beyond being on Playstation Home.  She was able to spend time with her friend before she moves to Florida. She went to the Zoo and also Warp Tour.  Most of the Summer was sitting around relaxing and hanging out with the family. I wish I could have provided more entertainment, maybe next summer.

Yesterday we had open house for my youngest.. It's hard to believe my baby starts High School.  It was very early this morning we was their 3 hours. I know she had to be nervous. There a few loose ends t be tied up, but other than that we are on track with things.  I am dreading carried her giant Bass back to school. I really don't miss those days.  I know its a good thing for her to do.  Until Next Time Good Night and Sweet Dreams to everyone.

Life Changing

I sorta stopped posting.. I hope my life would be on the up side. I had applied for a job and didn't get it. I am actually glad I didn't. I think a week after I applied at did the interview I got sick again with Pancretits .. I know I wrote it wrong. Anyways I was admitted in the hospital for 3 days. I now have diabetes I knew I had it, but never had help for it until now. I have finished my classes for that and I have been losing weight. Not only I have to watch my sugar I can't have beef or anything fried. Which this had been going on awhile.. but from being admitted in the hospital from eating pizza, I am very careful.

I started out being depressed, but it is actually a blessing. I am losing weight and eating so much better I feel better than I have in awhile. I have decided this a new turn around, I plan to get off my butt and start worrying about myself. I hope that if I lose enough weight I will be able to stop taking insulin. That is my wish anyways.. I am pretty strong willed when I want something bad enough. I am ready to start a new journey and a new life.

100 facts about me!

This is too make up for the 100 day I never finished.. Sorry I am not that interesting!

1. My 1st name is Jessica
2. I was born October 27th
3.My moms name is Mary
4.My real dad's name is David
5.I have Dark Brown hair almost Black
6.I have Naturally Curly Hair
7.I have Greenish Blue eyes
8.My nationality is Irish, American Cherokee Indian, Dutch,German and British maybe more
9.I have 1 biological sister 2 ..half brothers and 2 step-sisters
10. When I was 3 my favorite song was "Don't Make My Brown Eyes Blue
11.I have watched The Coal Miner Daughter over 100 times
12.My Favorite movie of all time is  Dazed and Confused
13. I am horrible at video games but love to play them
14. I hate Action movies
15.If I was born a boy my name would have been Jeremy Wayne
16.My favorite color is Purple
17. One of my favorite people is my step father
18.I can't dance
19.Not the best singer
20.I love Chinese food
21. I am straight
22.My zodiac is Scorpio
23 I hate people who lie and you end up looking like the bad person
24.I had my 1st real boyfriend at 16
25.My longest relationship was just over 4 years
26.The longest I have not  dated anyone was been 3 years and counting
27.I never wanted to have kids
28.I have 2 beautiful daughters
29.I was married
30.I am single
31.I fear I will be alone forever
32.I need to lose weight
33.I just found out I have diabetes
34. I have had 2 sections
35.I am friends with my ex-husband we argue but still friends
36.I don't like Italian food that much
37.I hate pizza
38.I am 38 years old
39.I look young for my age
40.I don't wear tank tops because I have always hated my arms
41.I like my lips
42.I am horrible at being organized
43.I could be vegetarian easily
44.The only meat I really like is Chicken
45.I love BBQ Sauce
46.I am addicted to Soy Sauce
47.I hate having dirty fingers
48.One of my step sister was killed by a drunk driver over 16 years ago
49.I am hot natured
50.I sometimes sleep with my window open in the winter
51.I love Flip Flops
52.I hate wearing socks
53.I love having my nails painted
54.I prefer lotion or body spray over perfume
55.I love youtube
56.Someday I would love to meet CTFxC (The Trippy's ) and TheShaytards from youtube
57.I have been in 4 car accidents
58.I am unemployed =(
59.I hate when the last person to use all the toilet paper and not replace it
60.I absolutely  hate drama
61.Dramatic people attach them self to me cause drama and accuse me of being dramatic
62.I have lost 15 pound in the last month
63.I am a night Owl
64.I have been engaged twice
65.13 and 21 are my lucky numbers
66.I love rain storms
67.I love snow
68.I hate Summer
69.I liked Zombie's before they were cool
70.I liked Vampires before they were cool
71.My favorite T.V. show when I was younger was Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed
72.My favorite T.V. show now is The Walking Dead
73.No, I'm not excited about the Hunger Games coming out in theaters
75.I use to have a crush on Adam Levine until someone brought it to my attention he looks like my brother Ken
76.John Mayers voice gives me chills
77.I think the Singer Pat from the group is hot
78. I think Dial soap stinks
79.I sleep with a blanky
80.I'm still not sure if I like the color yellow
81.I sleep with 4 pillows on my bed
82.I hate wet hair
83.I love my cats
84.I can fall asleep and still hear my people talking
85.I snore loudly
86.I don't like cinnamon that much
87.I love CoCo Pebbles
88.I hate wearing dresses
89.I have ugly toes
90.I am 5 ft 21/2 in
91.It has been a year since I stopped smoking
92.I graduated from High School
93.I was a horrible student
94.I graduated in 1994
95.My oldest daughter goes to the same high school as I did
96.My youngest daughter goes to the same middle school as I did
97.I moved to Tennessee at 17 for 1 month
98.I have lived in Smyrna Georgia all my life except the 1 month in Tenn
99.I love my moms hair long and silver
100.All my grandparents have passed away

Sorry

I know I never finished the 100 day Challenge.. my  life has seriously been crap lately with health issues and just plan BS going on. So one with new things in my life. I am hoping things get better, because they seriously couldn't be any worse.