I was reading a comment someone posted something about making a Bucket List. I have never thought about making a Bucket List. I have always just let life happen. I can say not much life has been happening. I have been reclusive to a point. I don't make an effort to do things. I don't believe I am depressed or anything like that. I stopped looking for love I don't try at all anymore. I feel like I have changed so much within the past 7 years, mentally as well as physically. I just stopped trying.
I have stopped smoking which was something I thought to be impossible, I do have that to be proud of. I don't think I look 37 buy I still see myself aging, that enough to freak someone out. I have put on a good amount of weight I don't like the way I feel. I know I need to lose a lot of weight. Dating I sort of keep from it, its hard to find someone who will except me the way I look weight wise.. I don't think I am ugly, just look better with less weight on me. I would love find someone and fall in love someday. I just don't know when or if it will happen I would like to fall in love. Sometimes I feel like I purposely gain weight or don't dress up anymore or even put on make up as often, maybe I am trying to keep love away.. I 'm not doing it purposely.
Moving on..... I kinda don't know what to say just one of those weeks that I have been stuck at home not feeling well.. I think I am a little bit better today. I'll be happy if I cam just sleep through the night. That would make me so happy!! Good Night Until Tomorrow. Sorry about rambling.
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